In Praise of Puddlejumping


Were I to extol the merits of puddlejumping in their entire magnitude, it would be a task insurmountable with the aid of pen and paper. I find a precursory necessity to be the defining of the term puddlejumping for the unenlightened. Puddlejumping is the advanced art of puddle stepping, the well-practised skill of merely stepping into a puddle. A puddle is a pool of anything to avoid, something to be walked around, so that one may not soil their feet. A puddle is an expanse of uncertainty regarding the bottom of the puddle. Great courage is required of those who would step into a mirage which might indeed swallow them up! A puddle is most often filled with a murky substance deemed reprehensible. Certain characteristics define those who are, or are to become puddlejumpers. Puddlejumpers must be equipped with a sense of independence, autonomy, responsibility for their actions, and disregard for the opinions of fellow nonjumpers. Indeed, puddlejumping is a dangerous sport, due to the excommunication rates. In times past, even curiosity about puddlestepping proved fatal.



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